What would you do if ESPN didn't exist?




Now wait, take a minute and think about. I would be President. "President of what Tyler?", you might ask me. The United States of America. Over the years there have been too many times to recall when I have been sitting on the couch trying to decide what to do with my day and then just when I have decided to start a political career or write a plea to UNICEF for more aid for the war countries of Africa; ESPN interferes. Either PTI or Around the Horn will undoubtedly come on and then I have to delay the beginning of my bid for city council or decide that my dissertation and subsequent plan for world peace can wait to be presented to the world one more day. Sometimes late at night when I can't sleep and begin to write down my thoughts on political crisis in America and then sure enough just as I'm getting ready to book my flight to Washington D.C. so I can stand before congress and wax poetic on the impending oil crisis facing our nation and the current crisis facing the entire planet global warming; what happens? The fucking 1am SportsCenter comes on and the Antartic ice shelf melts a little more...shit. So, thanks a lot ESPN. Thank you for your great daily shows like PTI and Around the Horn, and SportsCenter with it's up to the minute scores and highlights, and for your hilarious commercials. (especially the comic book convention one) But fuck you ESPN. I could have been President. FOFF.